Cocoa Cupcakes with a "Dash" of Red- Red Velvet Cupcakes

This week I made Martha's Red Velvet Cupcakes. Ooooooh, red velvet. Red velvet has become a staple flavor to any sweet shop. Maggie Moo's makes a red velvet ice cream. There is red velvet box mix and red velvet flavored candy. How many people actually know what flavor red velvet actually is?! Now, I know that Martha didn't give this famous cupcake it's name, but unlike her other cupcakes with obvious titles (i.e. yellow buttermilk cupcakes).. red velvet is not an obvious label for this cocoa powder infused cupcake that has been dyed red with food coloring. It was interesting to read about the history of the red velvet cupcake in Martha's book. According to the expert, red velvet cupcakes are an old tradition in cake baking but "have gained widespread popularity in recent years". It used to be said that when the cocoa powder mixes with the vinegar and baking soda mixture (which we'll get to later) it lets off a "reddish hue". Key word red- ISH. This cupcake gets its "real" color from the loads of red food coloring-- Martha recommends gel-paste food coloring, which I used-- so the red has nothing to do with how this cupcake will taste. Kinda tricky this red velvet is.

Enough with the history lesson and on to the day of baking in Mindy's kitchen. Again, I'm baking in a rush but, these have to be good since they are for my brother's 28th birthday. Which, my family is celebrating 2 hours from when I started step 1: "preheat the oven to 350*F". I have my wet and dry ingredients ready. The cocoa powder being the main attraction in the dry mix, and the 1 1/2 cup of vegetable oil that has been dyed the perfect shade of red in the wet.  I Mix them together in 3 stages alternating with the buttermilk-- which is about when I wish I had the Kitchen Aide stand mixer (in yellow)-- and the bloody looking batter is done. And no, I am not trying to speak like an Englishman. Then comes the second part of step 3: "Stir together the baking soda and vinegar in a small bowl...add mixture to the batter". Ok, so I'm not really good at science, but I know enough to know that baking soda and vinegar make a volcano. At least a mini volcano... it's what all the cool science projects had- the big fizzy volcano made by mixing baking soda and vinegar. (If I lost you, go mix baking soda and vinegar and see for yourself) Great, now I have to add volcano lava to the already gross bloody mixture. I do as Martha says, make my mini volcano erupt and dump the lava into the batter. I have no clue as to what this adds to the cupcake, but figure I should trust Martha and go with it. The batter is so runny and doesn't even taste good. I'm beginning to wonder what all this red velvet hoopla is all about. I mean, they don't even look red!

Red Velvet with Cubs Colored Sprinkles.
 Happy Birthday Tim!

Since this blog has started, I've upgraded my apartment a bit. I now have cable and an air conditioning unit. (And no, Mindycakes has not gone corporate... I got the AC for free, and Comcast gave me a good deal.) Anyways, these improvements have given me the opportunity to watch a lot of inspirational TV, which I can bring to this week's baking adventure. 

Red velvet cupcakes are like Kim Kardashian. Their popularity, beauty, unpredictability and somewhat sultry qualities make them comparable. Red velvet cupcakes are the most popular choice at any bakery; it's a step up from vanilla or chocolate so it's gotta be better right? We all know Kim tries to be a step above her sisters and will do anything to be the most popular Kardashian. Kim and RV both look great, and both got that way with a little artificial modifying. Between cellulite treatments and loads of make up Kim is rarely seen in her natural state. The cupcake is the same with it's red dye injections and fancy cream cheese tops. But, as fancy as they might look you never know what these two will serve up next. No two red velvet cupcakes look or taste alike, making them an unpredictable selection. Plus, remember the volcano I put in these cupcakes?! That baby could erupt any second! We all know Kim's behavior is all over the place, making her one of the most unpredictable of the "Dash" crew. As far as being sultry, I'm not thinking the cupcake is going to be posing for Playboy any time soon, but you gotta think that it's "red" color makes it kinda hot. Just to add... Kim served red velvet cupcakes at her housewarming party. She actually ate part of one, but then threw in Kris Jenner's face. (New season started tonight, I'm addicted. Kim if you're reading this... I think you're great, I'm just trying to be funny by saying you're fake.)

In conclusion, while the cupcake still tastes good, the at-home version of red velvet doesn't live up to its legendary expectation.  Also, I'm over the hype behind the celebrity status of the red velvet. It's an impostor. Fake. Not really velvety and red, but kind of chocolaty and an ugly shade of brown. It's just made to look like something it's not to get people to like it. If you just can't get over your desire to "keep up with the Kardashian Cupcake" then I suggest you go to your favorite bakery and pick one up there. It's probably what all the famous people do, and you don't have to waste your whole jar of red-gel-food coloring. 


Cupcake Stats:
Martha says this recipe makes 24 cupcakes. It made me: 24 !
W.W. Points: 6 for the cupcake, 3 for the frosting